There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
