Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
