Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
