Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
