He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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