Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
