Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
