Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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