You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
