I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
