I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
