dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
