Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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