Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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