You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
