There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
