I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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