We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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