Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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