today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
