im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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