My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
