PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
