batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
