Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
