She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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