he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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