I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
