I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
