he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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