i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
