So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I didn't notice because vodka
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
