singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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