i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she pinky promised me she was 18
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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