this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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