speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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