hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
