She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Vodka?
Forever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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