this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
