The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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