Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
