So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
