if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
