so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
