paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
