You really coming over, don't trick.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
