I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
