When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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