she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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