guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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