hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
