I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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