I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
